


Unknown Feeling

by Sherr



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Feels, M/M, Not Beta Read, We Die Like Men, english is not my first language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-23 22:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14942729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherr/pseuds/Sherr
Summary: It felt so wrong not knowing what was he feeling, but knowing exactly why was he feeling it.





	Unknown Feeling

Humans were such fragile creatures.

Connor had noticed that. They got hurt easily, and they were weak to certain viruses. They got sick very easily if they were not careful, and their feelings often became an obstacle when certain decisions were made. They became too attached to each other, and their morals often got in the way of a common goal.  
Humans had so many problems, so many imperfections, and yet he still acted like them.

Like the humans, Connor _feels_. He got happy if Sumo greeted him at the door, or if Lieutenant Anderson congratulated him for a work well done. He got mad if he saw an injustice, or if someone was rude to him or Lieutenant Anderson. He got embarrased if he made a mistake. He got concerned about the Lieutenant drinking habits.

And, it seems, he's also too attached to Lieutenant Anderson.

Connor wasn't designed to feel emotions so, once they made their appearance, he had to sort them out. He had to give them a name, a purpose, a trigger.  
And yet, he couldn't sort out what this new emotion is. He hasn't felt it before, and it was giving him a hard time getting things done. It was like... he was drowning in a feeling of remorse. He didn't wanted to do anything, not even the work he was assigned to complete, and it was frustrating him. How could he learn how to deal with this emotion, if he didn't knew what emotion it was in the first place?

Everything he knows, is that it started once Lieutenant Anderson went to the hospital in an emergency, because his heart stopped working.

A heart attack.   
Last time he went to visit, he overheard doctors talking to Hank. They weren't optimistical about his condition, and Hank just took it calmly, like he was prepared to die.

From there, that unknown feeling just got worst.

There were days he didn't even got out, mostly on his free days. He just stayed home, taking care of Sumo and watching those movies that Hank used to watch just to make fun of.  
He even talked to Sumo about good times with Hank, watching the dog perk up once his human's name was mentioned. And when that happened Connor had to stop, drowning the need of crying. He wasn't designed to cry, and humans had many reasons to cry. If he cried on every single one of those situations it would be problematic.

... But, it seemed right to cry, even if he didn't want to. It seemed right to cry.

So he cried.

Every night since then, he cried. He cried when he remembered the few times he saw Hank smiling. He cried when the thought of him dying came to his mind.  
And he cried when he realized that, once Hank was gone, he was going to be all alone. All by himself.  
He wouldn't have someone to make jokes with, someone that would defend him when someone was rude to him in an excesive way. He wouldn't have someone he got to call a friend, someone that was there to explain him the bizarre life of feeling like a human, of being a human.

And then, he cried when he had to say goodbye.

Hank's funeral was small. Only him, Sumo and a couple of friends from the bar and the food place were there. No one was crying, but one thing they all shared was that they all looked devastated.  
They looked _sad_.  
It hit him then that all this time he was sad. He was sad about losing a friend, he was sad about not being able to do something to save him.

He was sad he couldn't save him.

Sumo whinned at the coffin, pulling his leash to reach the grave. Sumo wanted to say goodbye too, so he let him. He watched as the dog started to dig up the dirt that was being thrown at the hole, whinning in the process. Connor had to reach him and pull him back, making the dog whine louder. He then howled, as if he was saying goodbye.  
And Connor joined him in his own way, shedding a couple of tears. He said goodbye for the last time.

And it felt so wrong.

"Let's go home, Sumo."

It felt so wrong to say those words without him besides him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> me: im sad because everyone kills connor  
> my mind: kill hank instead  
> me: ooOOOOooooOoOhH
> 
> I'm sorry.


End file.
